Little ears absorb vast amounts of information from the television, the radio, and through adult conversations that occur around them. As a therapist for children, I am amazed at the things children share with me. Children are very observant and aware of the world around them, however, they might not be so aware of the emotional response they have to stressful pieces of information. As we face this pandemic of the Coronavirus, it is important to recognize the early signs that your child is experiencing depression, anxiety or stress.
Don't avoid talking to your children about it:
Here is the thing, they probably already know about it but they may have some misconceptions. It is highly suggested that you be prepared to listen from a place of compassion and nurturing. Remind your child that this is a safe and non-judgement zone. I recommend using an open ended question, something like: "what have you heard about the Coronavirus?". This type of statement leaves space for the child to share their knowledge. Sometimes we fall into a trap of asking closed-ended questions; which result in a 'Yes' or 'No' response. This type of responses does not provide enough information for you to determine if your child is struggling. An example, of a closed ended question would be, "have you heard about the Coronavirus?".
Reflective Listening:
When we engage children in conversation using open-ended questions they will begin to tell us all sorts of things. Sometimes things get all garbled together and don't quite make sense. I encourage you to ask clarifying statements and use reflective listening. An example of a clarifying statement is, "It sounds like you're feeling scared, is that right?". This approach helps to clarify if the child is not really feeling sad -- so they may respond by identifying a different feeling or emotion. Reflective listening is simply restating what the child has said. For example, "I heard you say that you learned about the Coronavirus on TV and you're feeling worried with butterflies in your tummy".
Offer Nurturing Support:
Kneeling down to be eye level with a child is a sign of you offering nurturing support. Allowing a child to express themselves freely without being judged is an approach to offering nurturing support. A supportive parent is one who engages with their child, reminds them of their strengths, reminds them of safety, and challenges them to problem solve. Nurturing support also includes spending more time with our children or spending more time together as a family. Professionals have suggested this idea of socially distancing oneself from the mainstream world to avoid the Coronavirus. This presents a good time for some good old-fashioned board games and card games in the family. This creates a space of family bonding and shared memories.
Reassure Safety:
Remind your child that you will do everything you can to keep them safe. Remind them that you love them and that you will do your best to protect them. Offer your child some tools that can help them to feel safe. For example, remind your children to wash their hands using soap and warm water while singing the ABC's. Reassuring safety is also reflected through the nurturing support because it reinforces the bond that a child has with their caregiver and it reminds the child that their needs are met. Putting all of these tips together will help to reassure safety within your child.
As a therapist for teens, I recommend using these same skills with teens with an age appropriate approach. Teens are full of information and they have developed the brain capacity to think abstractly. Communicating openly and reflecting things back to a teen will go a long way.
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